dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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