I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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