I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize