also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
