can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
