I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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