ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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