I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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