About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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