You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
