omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
