we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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