I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
