can u get pink eye on your cock?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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