All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
