i permit you to call me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
