is your mom at the bar?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
