shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
