he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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