what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
