Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
