I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
