there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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