Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry QuirkyKetone hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(214): View more from Texas

I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

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(541): View more from Oregon

Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf

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(513): View more from Ohio

So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.

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(512): View more from Texas

He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small

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(440): View more from Ohio

When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.

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