The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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