I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize