Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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