i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
