Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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