Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
