Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
