He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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