help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
