i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
