i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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