i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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