I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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