i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
