I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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