my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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