Don't make out with my wife yet
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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