But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
