Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
