I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
