he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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