I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
