My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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