kristin has been a bad kristin
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
