That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
