so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize