I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
