If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
