but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
