I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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