You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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