our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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