take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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