I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
