i permit you to call me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
