I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
