yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
