i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
